Andrew Pain

MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH: A SILENT AND FAR-REACHING EMERGENCY

75% of people who complete suicide each year in the UK are men, over 80% of homeless people in the UK are men and 60% of victims of violence in the UK are men and boys.

If we are serious about addressing men’s mental health and creating better futures for our sons, brothers, fathers, uncles, partners, colleagues, there is work to be done, and we need to start by moving beyond a well-trodden assumption that: ‘Men don’t naturally talk’ (so therefore, the magic solution to men’s mental health is simply getting them to talk!)

We need to ask better questions. examine the root causes and identify the various and wide-ranging action points needed to address a massive and complex issue.

As a lived-experience survivor of domestic abuse in a former marriage and advocate for men’s mental health, Andrew till explore:

• The hidden causes to today’s mental health epidemic
• Why men commonly under-report, ignore and stay silent, when they’re the victims of abuse and/or in poor mental health
• The 7-point action plan to improving men’s mental health

How to stop burnout, so work/life balance is a reality not a utopia

Regarded by the World Health Organisation as a key driver of work-place absence and a major challenge for professionals who are striving and coping in our complex 21st century world, there’s little doubt that burnout is a real and present danger, which poses grave consequences for people and organisations who ignore it. But what is burnout? What are the triggers? Is it preventable and if so, how do you prevent it?

In this session, participants will explore:

• The 5 most common work-place triggers of burnout and how to tackle them.
• The easy-win and wider-scale strategies to tackle workplace burnout.
• Why tackling burnout requires a wider focus than simply the work environment.
• The critical mindset shifts required to handle arduous and long term stress.
• How elite performers process and respond to set-backs, using E.S.T.
• How to manage long term worries using The Worry Scale, so you remain proactive about tackling your worries, but without getting consumed by them.
• Mindfulness for beginners and non-converts: why it matters and how to get started.
• How to create rhythms and routines which energise in the toughest of times.

The resilience factor: How to create sustainable and productive teams

The 21st century, roller-coaster ride!

We’ve all been on it and most of us are sick of the gut-wrenching drops: the far-reaching impact of COVID, war in Ukraine, soaring energy costs, a global food crisis, environmental melt-down, the list goes on, and add to that list; an epidemic of loneliness, widespread burnout in the workplace, the great resignation and milestone anxiety … it’s pretty clear that building resilient teams is a critical success factor for employers who want their teams to thrive.

• How do you build a positive outlook which is grounded in reality and keeps you in a resourceful state?
• How do you continue to dig deep when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed?
• How do you keep perspective on the small and big challenges you face, so you can make the right decisions on where to invest your energies and which things to ignore?

In this session, we’ll fully unpack the quality of resilience: what it is, how to foster resilience at work and as part of a team, and how to develop it as a personal quality. We’ll explore:

• The 5 key traits of resilient people.
• The 5 every-day habits of resilient people.
• Psychological safety: what it is, why it matters and how to build it.
• The missing ingredient to developing grit.
• How elite performers process and respond to set-backs, using E.S.T.
• How to manage long term worries using The Worry Scale, so you remain proactive about tackling your worries, but without getting consumed by them.
• Mindfulness for beginners/non-converts: what it is and how to get started.
• Why boundaries are at the heart of self-mastery and how to develop them.
• How to make difficult decisions when the pressure is on.

Domestic abuse: How employers can protect their teams and promote gender unity

The annual cost of domestic abuse for the economies of England and Wales combined, is an estimated £66 billion pounds, with £47 billion pounds attributed to the emotional harm experienced by victims and £14 billion attributed to lost output due to time off work and reduced productivity (often over periods of several years or more). Domestic abuse has a massive impact on UK society with an estimated 2.4 million adults experiencing domestic abuse in 2019 alone, but how do employers; a) Spot the signs? b) Have the difficult conversations? C) Support people going through it?

As a long-term survivor of domestic abuse in a former marriage, I know only too well the impact of domestic abuse on performance at work: from the extraordinary levels of sick leave I took, to the excessive and lengthy personal phone calls each day, and falling asleep on the phone to my clients mid-way through the conversation due to sheer exhaustion!

In this keynote:

• Andrew openly and positively shares his story, from the violence the emotional manipulation, and dilemmas he faced, to moving beyond and repairing as an individual.
• Andrew describes the wider issues faced by female and male survivors and why gender unity is critical in supporting all victims of domestic abuse (whether they are parents abused by their children, women abused by men or women, or men abused by men or women).
• Andrew answers some of the most common questions asked about domestic abuse including: Why do people stay? How do intelligent people fall into abusive relationships? What is life like in abuse? What is gaslighting? What is life like after abuse? What about parental alienation? How do we equip the next generation to better tackle domestic abuse and spot the signs for themselves?
• Andrew explores how employers can do more to support victims of abuse and build positive awareness of domestic abuse throughout their organisation

How to make critical decisions when the stakes are high

• How do you make wise decisions when you’re under pressure and out of time?
• What’s the best approach for big decisions? Your Gut? Your Heart? Your Brain? A mix of all of them? Or an Algorithm?
• How do you know when to play it safe and when to do something audacious?

Drawing on a wealth of experience and research, you’ll explore three, very common yet mind-bending dilemmas faced by organisational leaders, in order to reveal insights and strategies to help you make difficult decisions, but do so wisely, promptly and with less stress, so that you experience better outcomes in your life, and you’re decisive when it matters.

You will learn:

• Why your gut is both powerful and flawed and when to best use it.
• Why unconscious biases undermine good decision-making and the 3 most dangerous biases to look out for.
• Why boundaries form the foundation of effective decision making and self-mastery.
• How to create and communicate your boundaries, so you no longer get pulled into things you’d rather avoid, you no longer accept things you know to be wrong, and you no longer get stuck when you most need to move.
• How to navigate your most difficult decisions with minimal stress, and why heuristics enable prompt decision making, whilst protecting you from the flaws in your gut.
• Why we ignore important issues when we’re under pressure and how to spot problems early, in order to prevent nasty (yet avoidable) shocks and to avoid having the rug pulled out from under our feet when we least expected it.

Imposter Syndrome: Why it's toxic and how to beat it

Imposter Syndrome: it’s where you doubt your ability, you feel like a fraud about to be exposed and you believe your accomplishments are not worthy of attention or respect. According to research, 70% of us have experienced it and it appears to be getting worse in the 21st century, holding people back from achieving their potential and leading to long term anxiety, self-loathing and depression.

In this keynote talk, you will explore:

• Two types of Imposter Syndrome which no one is talking about: a) why they matter, b) what causes them, c) how to beat them.
• 3 critical assumptions to adopt as your mantras if you want to send Imposter Syndrome packing.
• 3 powerful self-management techniques to draw on when you’re feeling inadequate and your confidence is shot to pieces.
• 3 everyday habits which most people are unaware they do, but which undermine our self-worth.
• How to process negative feedback, so you’re not consumed by it and can separate the helpful from the unhelpful.

How to delegate, so the job gets done on time and to the standard you want

“If you want a job doing properly, then do it yourself”. Most of us have said words to this effect at one point or another and delegation is a huge risk, but without delegation, the consequences are:

• Under-performing teams who resent the fact you won’t trust them.
• Dis-empowered teams who rely on YOU as the one and only person to put in the extra shifts and take the initiative, and who are deprived of the opportunity to stretch themselves, try new things, make mistakes and benefit from the learning.
• Stressed out leaders who juggle too many jobs and refuse to delegate because they ‘CAN’T’ (won’t), resulting ultimately in burnt out leaders and job applications elsewhere!

Nobody wins in these scenarios and yet, it is possible (even remotely) to delegate your tasks AND ensure that they get done on time and to the standard you want, whilst also developing your relationship with your delegates. You just need to know what NOT to do and what TO do instead.

In this talk, you will explore:

• The 6 sinful C.R.I.M.E.S of delegation (so you know what to avoid).
• The 3 critical pillars on which to build effective delegation (so you know what to put in place).
• The 6 golden rules of delegation using my 6XR model (so you know what to do when you delegate).

After this talk, you will be equipped with everything you need to know, so you can delegate like a pro, developing the people around you, freeing up your time for more important things, whilst also ensuring that the tasks you delegate, get done on time and to the standard you want.

Get more done, without getting busier or burnt out

Most of us already know that to achieve the big things, we need to break our goals into smaller and actionable chunks and learn to say “NO” but for all that we know about productivity, the lines between work and home have become increasingly blurred, the temptation to avoid checking emails at 10pm has become harder to ignore and becoming a productivity ninja is well out of reach for the vast majority of people.

This transformational keynote talk is for busy people who want to get more done, whilst also developing clear boundaries which safeguard their health and wellbeing.

You will learn, how to:

• Tackle procrastination, by understanding it: the many common causes, your relationship with procrastination and crucially, how to unravel it
• Eliminate the most common time drains, so you can truly make the most of the time available to you, without beating yourself up.
• Make wise decisions about your priorities, even when you’re drowning in things to be done, so you can focus on the important things when it’s all kicking off and you’re also productive on the quieter days (when they occasionally occur).
• Tackle burnout and COVID-related stress, so you remain focussed and positive in spite of the challenges you face.
• Set and implement truly inspiring goals using an E.P.I.C. goal setting process.
• How to transform the humble diary into a powerful time management tool.
• Master your boundaries, so you know how to set them and how to adhere to them.